Posted in Family, Mental Health

Image IS everything!

When it comes to raising our  kids, the image of self-love that we portray is absolutely everything.

Before I had children I was oblivious to the fact that there are little people marching around this world imitating the things I do. I had no idea, that when I slump my shoulders, or wear a frown, that the children in my presence are hyper-sensitive to those little motions, and will undoubtedly question the meaning behind it.

Now here I am, my eldest isn’t even four yet, and already I am well-versed in the “whys” of the world. If you’ve been out grocery shopping and stopped for a moment, to assess your reflection in the window, you can bet my children noticed and innocently berated me with all the “whys” about your strange behavior.

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If you can imagine our children as magazine editors, you can bet your ass they would release a publication of unedited images into the world. Raw, real, and… flawed – only to them it wouldn’t be – See, they have no concept of what defines beauty. For them the world is one glorious masterpiece, all things living in the beauty of its own right. Though, slowly over time, when mamas and pops, start unblurring those lines and create defined spaces for what should and shouldn’t be in the beauty department… they too start seeing it as so. Of course, none of it is intentional, we don’t go about blatantly addressing our thoughts on beauty, no, it’s a subtle progression starting with a lack of self-acceptance.

{Self-Acceptance is literally the acceptance of self. It is an understanding of the unique qualities that together create the whole self, and accepting the imperfections in relationship to completing the whole and thus creating an inner happiness and satisfaction. Self-love.}

It’s a learned behavior; to start believing that those perfectly placed freckles, or misaligned eyebrows are a flaw in the human design. These young kids have no idea our hips are a little too wide, or our bellies a little too round until they walk in on us poking and prodding, and cursing those nuisances. Self-appreciation is actually the natural part of their being, and we alter and redefine that as they grow, unless of course, we can let our own securities sit by the way-side while we raise our children.

I am not going to sit here and pretend I am perfect, I certainly know “I am thick in the middle, and I got much back” but who cares?? I know well enough, that isn’t all of me, and I wear confidence in the fact that I still have a shit ton to offer as a human. Instead I am teaching my sons to love women who love themselves first, and to be confident self-loving men too.

I long for my teenaged boys to enter their high school corridors with an ora of confidence that no amount of school boy taunting can destroy. I want my sons to embrace their ‘flaws’ so they don’t have to tear down others just to build them selves up. I want my boys to experience love, unwaveringly, and that starts with a strong, and confident self-appreciation. Absolutely all of this is entirely dependent on the image of self-love I put into their universe.

What I am trying to say <in a very long winded essay of sorts> is this;

  1. It’s totally okay to love yourself as you are. You are rocking a body that has walked a tough journey of your own unique set of trials and tribulations. It has endured the pain, only yours can tolerate, and calling them imperfections, is just reaching “mean girl” status.
  2. Stop allowing your children to think anything less of you. You are and will always be their ‘perfect mold’ by which everyone else will be measured. They know better than anyone the true strength of your hustle, and have seen you at your worst… with raw assessment but without judgment.
  3. Do not allow them the opportunities to learn vulnerability and insecurity. The world they are about to face can be enough to handle as it is, fill them with traits of satisfaction and appreciation. Allow their self-love to be limitless.
  4. Love every bits of them. Tell them they are perfect, that you wouldn’t change a thing. Praise their imperfections, and document them in photos. Begin their lives with self-love and breed body appreciative children. Because there isn’t a freckle worth the long-term emotional damage that questioning themselves will cause.
  5. Just be! Be present and loving in everything you do, don’t waste a single moment making your children feel less than – And that starts by letting them know you don’t believe you are less than.
  6. Share your vulnerabilities with confidence! Laugh it off, be the Ace Ventura in an otherwise body shaming-easily embarrassed society.

Now get out there and LOVE YOURSELF!!!

Tight Squeeze!

Ella

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